tech support jokes

At 3:37 a.m. on a Sunday, I had just looked at the clock to determine my annoyance level, when I received a frantic phone call from a new user of a Macintosh Plus. Hey! But these quotes about IT, tech and computer systems remind us that technical difficulties are a universal experience and there is some humor to be found. Thank You For Calling. It was the best meeting I've ever been to, hands down. Short jokes. I told them that I wanted to become a stand-up comedian. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content. Sit in the dark saying it's working ti someone questions it. Thanks for all the support, guys!! A little background: I'm in software tech support but my job duties vary widely and include a lot of data management in spreadsheets. Manufacturers have quickly adopted to LG's new protocol, as they are afraid of not supporting the LGBT. The big key at the bottom of the bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce A farmer is worried sick about his horse Reginald who is basically on his death bed. Sometimes working in tech support can be stressful, so a little humor can go a long way … Go To Bed. Programming is like sex; one mistake and you have to support it for a lifetime.. 34 9. Here is how my file name changes over the course of few days before submitting for approvals. What is written on Steve Jobs tombstone? Reboot your joke collection with these funny computer jokes, wifi puns and tech jokes that don’t require a restart. So, the doctor sets it to 10% and asks the husband how he feels. So far, the Universe is winning. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Family Jokes 26; Famous Jokes 14; Food Jokes 141; Geography Jokes 89; Health Jokes 60; Holiday Jokes 212; Knock Knock Jokes 59; Let me in Jokes 249; Miscellaneous Jokes 280; Money Jokes 35; Movie Jokes 25; Music Jokes 53; Name Jokes 313; Odd Jokes 22; Outdoor Jokes 60; Relationship Jokes 100; School Jokes 50; Sport Jokes 28; Technical Jokes … The man is shocked, as he had never believed in God. Customer: Netscape. My device? Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew! ...but they came a lot earier than expected, typical! Pick your favorite tech support meme and share it with everyone you know! Somebody stole my new Microsoft Office last week and they are going to pay! Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Click here for more information. Article from Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button? See TOP 10 IT one liners. "Yes, press the space bar. It’s good to see them supporting their right to bare arms. Policeman jokes. Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it. Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it. Mar 28, 2017 - Explore Darlene Berry's board "tech support jokes" on Pinterest. Facebook. Me: Joe, I want to be a billionaire like my uncle. S: "Well, there are. Monday jokes. One, with a sign reading *It's time to GO!,* spotted them and quickly approached. Buy them individually or … Joke of the day - Bad Day at Technical Support is the best Joke for Thursday, 12 March 2009 from site Jokes of the day - Bad Day at Technical Support. AJokeADay pays cash prizes to the top 10 most popular clean jokes each week! Doctor jokes. 133. The largest collection of IT one-line jokes in the world. 12 Humorous Signs for your Tech Support Department. - Richard Lerner To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. Hell, why stop there, I fully support Cujo as my Vice President because he's such a heckin good boy! I Can’t Connect To Wifi. Thanksgiving jokes. Will and Guy bring you the most bizarre tech support stories from computer, phone and related technical supprot help lines. You Called Us Claiming. "Isn't it obvious? 59 21. A Scot called the newspaper’s support desk: “If you don’t stop printing jokes about Scottish people I won’t lend your newspaper anymore.” I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard’s DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn’t solve. Are you sure?” NOT-Microsoft support: “Oh yes, we have many reports.” Me: “Oh jeez. After a pause the client replied "young man, there's nothing They were having a lovely day until they came upon a group of protesters outside the queen's domain. I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. Absolutely hillarious IT one-liners! Get the right computer - 2 Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Well, can you see if … They all. They were hanging on for dear life. None, if they’re told the lightbulb doesn’t exist, it doesn’t need changing, I’m not sure what to wear, so I’ll probably just come in my pants. They are part of a long line of countries that lost wars to the USA. I can't get my DVD out !!! However, they were told that the rope was going to break soon and that it could only support two people at this rate. The customs official eyes them suspiciously. Customer: Yes, I'm sure it's really stuck. They were take by advisors at BT, HP and Dell. I do know this experimental three day treatment, but its not known to work. He shakes his head and refuses to say anything. They'd moved to the U.S. only recently, yet they still had a pretty good education in English and I assu, They let me pick which medical school I'm going to, He said " I saw a dream where a beautiful woman is trying to kill you and take me". SUBMIT JOKE; Bad Day at Technical Support. A man dies and goes to heaven. Posted on by . 103. Yes … Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Will and Guy's - Tech Support Jokes We have selected the best ten Tech Support Jokes. I hate to think of what will happen to him when he leaves the house. Their white sheets aren't clean from the last rally yet. April Fool's Day. "Have you tried turning it on and back off again? You have my Word! C: "No." 133 30. In fact, I support the youth in every continent. Good evening everyone. tweet; RELATED ARTICLES MORE FROM AUTHOR. Tech Support Please. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2. Yes This Is Tech Support. The Best Tech Jokes . On the phone, the man said he even held the printer up in front of … Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad! Tech Support in Computer Jokes. I’m gonna go get the dogs ready and I’ll be back for your answer.”. Blonde jokes. Jokes! I just got kicked out of my support group for those chronically depressed with PTSD. The tech arrives and gives the rocket a look, presses a button and the rocket hums to life, ready for work. keyboard." 1) Customer: 'My disk ran out of space when trying to save my Word document, so I changed it from double spaced to single spaced and it still wouldn't fit!' THOU SHALT NOT CALL TECH SUPPORT. Turns out treating a broken toe costs a lot of money. Nobody knows how to fix my problem but everybody understands. Technology Jokes. space bar. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. None. on the BOTTOM of this keyboard! However, be very careful how you use these programs. For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. '. Working In IT Support. Tech Support Joke: Hello. All sorted from the best by our visitors. How can I fix it?”>... read more S: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." Absolutely hillarious IT one-liners! Advisor: 'I will remove them for you. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.The tech asked her if she was 'running it under Windows.' I'm really trying, but it's starting to hurt my back. The answer to your piddly-ass problem is probably on the web or in a … Funny Computers' support staff Jokes. ". What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? IT humor, Tech Support Stories, Support Ticket Fails, Funny Computer Stories Christmas jokes. See more ideas about jokes, tech humor, computer humor. Tech Support Won’t Let Me. C: "I can't reach." We Get Paid. You won’t need blue light glasses for these computer jokes and IT jokes. We're reposting for karma.". Oh You’re Tech Savvy. Tech Support: “OK Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. Read the funniest jokes about Computers' support staff ... Technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. Back to: People Jokes. They want to make sure nobody comes. "We better get some support or people are gonna think we're nuts!!". The pilot gets on the loudspeaker and tells the cabin that if they look to their right, they'll see the pearly gates and the shining city beyond. The competition was heating up, and the next correct diagnosis would be the winner. I Don’t Know What I Did. I work for a national real estate franchise and the COO was one of the people who interviewed and hired me. A SEO couple had twins. bigger and better idiots. If any one can claim to be running for presidential candidacy, why not throw my name into the ring. The first word that came to my head was "RoBlowjob", They both don’t show up to vote when it matters. My name is Droxy Chloroquine, and I'm here to talk about unverified cures for Covid. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. We have collected some of the best technology one-liner humor and jokes which are sure to please the tech geek in you. Customer: Yes, I’m sure. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I can't stress this enough. Customer: Five stars. More true, funny tech support stories from the IT help desk Most people have faith in the intelligence of mankind, but if you read our article featuring 16 of the funniest help desk tickets as told by IT pros, or these other real help desk mishaps , your trust in humanity might have faltered a bit. Don’t Worry. Free jokes, tech support humor at Tess' Castle In The Sky. C: "Okay, here it is." I can't believe there's that many Cartographers. Tech Support in Computer Jokes. Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it. Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?" DECT* Phone Helpdesk Best Tech Support Jokes From BT, HP and Dell Indian Technical Support SolarWinds Call Detail Record Tracker Review Sponsored Links ∇ DECT* Phone Helpdesk I got a call from Austria … Check out our top 21 jokes that the average Joe won't get. Tech Support Won’t Let Me. _____ Customer: Hi, this is Celine. Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn't inserted it… At the gates of heaven, Saint Peter is waiting for him. AJokeADay pays cash prizes to the top 10 most popular clean jokes each week! He asks the first guy: A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Short & Funny Tech Jokes The internet has provided us with limitless tech jokes, from IT departments, tech support and programmers, users never cease to amaze us and entertain us. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Funny Quotes or Sayings: "Technology" Group 2 AT&T to wed T-Mobile. Please Wait. Submit A joke. The woman then responded, 'No, my desk is next to the door. iCame, iSaw, iConquered, iLeft, iCameBack, iThinkDifferent, iMac, iPod, iTunes, iPhone, iPad, iCloud, iRIP Doug got first with a great piece about racial tensions in America. You Have 3 Phds. There he sees St Peter and gets excited and walks towards the pearly gates. He's not homophobic or anything, it's just the closest he's ever come to child support. joke bank -Technology Jokes . He calls a vet to check up on him but the vet looks hopeless and says, "I'll be honest with you man, he's pretty much in his final stages. Jokes about Computers' support staff. They can't win, because they don't vote. See more ideas about Jokes, Tech humor, Computer humor. Those are really helpful tips. His wife looks concerned and asks him what's wrong. "When I die, I want my tombstone to be a WiFi hotspot......that way people visit more often." One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Andrew. Tech Support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Friday jokes. Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?" Please share this message. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build so I only have to pay for 4 years of child support instead of 18. Customer: A white one. A Dell Rolling in the Deep. See TOP 10 IT one liners. Tech Support: ‘Tell me what You’ve done.’ Customer: ‘I typed A:SETUP.’ Tech Support: ‘Ma’ am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.’ Customer: ‘It says [PC manufacturer] Restore … Tech Support Jokes Read More » S: "Uh huh. I'm seeing a lot of new faces here and I must say I'm very disappointed... Because they were too busy posting on Reddit, ...which pales in comparison to the 100% of Americans who support “69 for All”, "Well damn, I didn't expect a round of applause!". ", The sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”. Have a co-worker about to hit his working anniversary and I'd love to have a couple of jokes about people who work at a place for a long time. Then that person is fired because there is no broken light bulbs. There's only so many times you can tell people to turn if off and back on again before you need a giggle. Technical Support. Just check out our tech support meme collection below to know more! 65144 18973. But that is a good point. Jokes about Computers' support staff. Customer: … 30 Elbert Hubbard Quotes on Work, Love and Laughter. Tech Support: "Did it not in... read more Working In IT Support. See more ideas about Jokes, Funny pictures, Funny. SHARE. They are saying it will be the most superior race in town. Dec 29, 2013 - Sometimes working in tech support can be stressful, so a little humor can go a long way towards putting a smile back on your face.. . The largest collection of IT one-line jokes in the world. The Best Tech Jokes. Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device.” Me: “Oh no. "We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you. After all, it’s better to laugh about technology than to throw your computer--or anything else--off a cyber cliff. "Push, come on darling, push, one last push," I shouted. If she stayed in Italy to raise the chi. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." Mar 3, 2014 - Explore BeAnywhere's board "Tech Support Jokes" on Pinterest. When I was in high school - in 10th or 11th grade I think - our class got two new students about midway through the school year. Sold in both cocktail & dinner sizes. Captcha. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are adding a one-click tweet button with every one … Just remember that Stevie Wonder is paying $25,000 a month in child support for some kids he has never seen. A husband goes to his wife and says “You’re either going hunting with me, sucking my cock or I’m fucking you in the ass. Following the ceremony there will be no reception. Aug 21, 2014 - Complete your dinner party decor with paper & cloth napkins from Zazzle. Lawyer jokes. Trick question. NOT-Microsoft support: “Hello. He gives the Americans the bill ... Just found this joke in my Chem eng textbook. ", Gets inside the house and sees his fathers shoes. Do not be racist; be like Mario. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all." Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing … Backups. In fact, "Spreadsheet Queen" is my unofficial job title. 30. Now type the … Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Toyota has announced it will start integrating Microsoft technology into their vehicles. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Female customer: A white one... Change of Mind Customer: I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don't want my wife to think that it's me.'. I saw my colleague do it. Best Tech Support Jokes From BT, We have collected the funniest calls to computer tech support departments at Dell BT and HP. Twitter. I wish she would just let me work in peas. Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!" A co-worker was trying to get an obviously novice user to press the Hell is wallpapered with all your deleted selfies. HP and Dell, SolarWinds Call Detail Record Tracker Review, Good Jokes and Funny Short Stories and Tales. They were twins - a brother and sister - and they were from China. A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer’s tech support number, complaining about the error message: “Can’t find the printer.”. 103. Actual Calls to Computer Technical Support Reps Amusing Password Logic Best 10 Tech support jokes Another batch of funny support calls Sponsored Links ∇ Actual Calls to Computer Technical Support Reps Get the right computer – 1 Customer: I’m … 38. Because they can’t wait to live in a world with no snowflakes. We were trying to think up a group name, apparently 'The Suicide Squad' isn't considered appropriate. The little-known rare earth element nauseum (atomic weight 172) has the interesting property Customer: "That's what I said. - Paul Ehrlich. They don't want to talk to you, period. Enjoy our collection of funny, geeky, tech, programmer and computer jokes below and make sure to share them with friends and family. Tech Support; may I help you?Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.What sort of trouble?Well, I was just typing along, and all of a... the joke is just one of many funny jokes on Joke Buddha! No matter how difficult you think your problem is, the person who picks up the phone doesn't give a sh*t. At all.THOU SHALT NOT CALL TECH SUPPORT. She could not print yellow. Mar 28, 2017 - Explore Darlene Berry's board "tech support jokes" on Pinterest. She had gotten her entire family out of the house and was calling from her neighbor's. ===== Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

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